I wrote only one blog post and still have not had the courage to launch my blog. I just read the book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F@#! by Mark Manson and watched Marie Forleo TV with Seth Godin, inspiring me to “just do it!” Act don’t think. For an introvert like myself, acting before thinking is totally out of my comfort zone. It is the reason I feel stuck. Afraid to start this blog. I over think all possible angles of how this can go terribly wrong. How I will fail. I do nothing but procrastinate by scrolling through Snapchat, Instagram or playing mindless games on my phone.
I spoke of the “whisper” and listening to it (opening blog) but I also believe in paying attention to the signs. Lately, ALL signs have been pointing to “seize the moment.” The theme in both the book and from Seth Godin is clear: Take Action NOW- just blog or write or do whatever it is that you know in your heart you are meant to do! The title of Marie TV’s interview with Seth was “…there is no right moment”. https://www.marieforleo.com/2016/10/seth-godin/ Basically….don’t wait for the right moment. Seize the NOW! Act. Don’t think. Don’t perfect. Instead of putting pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) I’ve been thinking and planning out the best way to reach my goals. Searching for the right time, when really all I’ve been doing is procrastinating.
This spiral of no action+procrastination=not good enough is the cause of why I feel stuck! I’ve been reading other people’s blogs, books, and podcasts. Watching other people live out their dreams while I’m still stuck in the thoughts of my head. When I don’t take action the thoughts don’t go anywhere! They remain what they are…thoughts in my head. I am inspired by what Seth Godin said, you only need to touch/inspire ONE person….basically start small and build from there. This is what I’m setting out to do by launching this blog. What better time than NOW!
Being a stay at home mom for the past year, I have been entertaining the thought of going back to work. My DH has been nagging me about “contributing” to the household. Initially, I thought getting a job would get my DH off my back about “contributing”. Then I realized, getting a job really had little to do with him and everything to do with me and my calling.
Prior to being a stay at home mom, I worked with my family in their landscaping business. It didn’t work out. I left the family business knowing that it was not my calling. I realized that having a job that I was not happy doing paralyzed me. Working at the family business was flexible but it left me feeling like I had been tortured on “the Rack”. I was exhausted and beat. Infecting my family environment with an energy of unhappiness. Living out my grandfather’s legacy was not going to fulfill me. I would be living someone else’s dream. Upon unemployment, I made a promise to myself that my next job was going to put me somewhere in the vicinity of the path of my calling; my personal legend; my life’s purpose (insert whatever you want to call it).
Fast forward a year of putting all of my energies into being a home engineer… I am still left with a restlessness to do more but end up doing nothing. I thought being a home engineer would create time for me start a blog. In reality, I am the creator of how I spend my time and more time has created a pause in my life to reflect and dig deep. I start to question my life, it’s purpose, and the effects it will have on my husband and daughter. These constant thoughts of doubt have left me paralyzed until NOW!
The lesson that has presented itself is this: Purpose and calling aren’t going to magically appear. There is no “right time” to start working or doing something you think you will be good at, you have to actually do it and put in the work. Personally, it’s hard to carve-out the time to write and call it work. I procrastinate. I have been afraid, very afraid to start something that I may or may not be good at; that may or may not be my calling. I’ve been thinking, studying, dreaming of writing for the past five years and have nothing to show for it. The fear of not being good-enough and caring too much of what someone over there is going to think or say has paralyzed me from taking action. Even if the whisper gets louder you still have to TAKE ACTION and be committed. Finding a part-time job would just be another excuse for me to say that I don’t have time or that I am too busy or too tired to actually do what I want to do. Realizing and accepting this has brought me to action. I need all of my energy to be supportive of my family, keep a healthy mind and spirit, and have enough left over to do what I was created to do in this life! Thinking about it is just wasting time which leads to me feeling like a loser. What have I got to lose? Nothing and everything. I have nothing to lose by not starting this blog but everything to lose from the possibilities that could arise…in essence, just do it is another way of saying GANBATTE! There is no better time than NOW!
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